Hymn for a Dream
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Thursday, December 3, 2009
For the first time this week (oh, except for Monday, which both sucked almightily and rocked awesomely - wait, should I say something about that or something? Right, so on Monday, I had to renew my visa, and because the guy in charge of this stuff at work is a DICKHEAD and an IDIOT who likes to tell me he needs some official document or other THE DAY HE NEEDS IT, which gives me oh so much time to get it from the police station, which passes me off to another police station because they can't be arsed dealing with it, which passes me off, etc., and this is on my day off, and on the person who is helping me because I'M A FOREIGNER YOU KNOBS (not the general populous, just looking at the two people who expect me to be able to do this on my own in particular)'s day off too (wow, that was an incredibly awkward possessive 's), and then that person has to go and deal with really important personal stuff because oh I don't know IT'S HER FREAKIN' DAY OFF AND THE MANAGER DECIDES TODAY IS A NICE DAY LET'S GO CLIMB A MOUNTAIN INSTEAD OF MAYBE HELPING THE PERSON WHO COULD GET DEPORTED TOMORROW BECAUSE HIS VISA EXPIRES TODAY ARE YOU AN IDIOT OR WHAT (total exaggeration, what will actually happen is a fine that work, not me, will have to pay, serves them right, idiots), so I have to do the rest on my own, and the police station boss, who I'd been waiting for, who over the phone adamantly refused allowing anyone but his own royal personage to be allowed to stamp the official document, STAMPS THE DOCUMENT WITHOUT EVEN LOOKING AT IT, THE KNOB DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHY I WAS THERE (I think he was more interested in extorting even more money out of the poor woman who'd been waiting there since 7:30am, and had already given them a couple of hundred to "grease the wheels"), and then it's 3:30 and the visa issuing office closes at 4pm as a phone call I just receive tells me in rather agitated tones, serves you right you unprepared, unorganised, unintelligent dickheads, and the taxi does a mad dash and gets me there on time, and the visa office isn't closed, and the most idiotic of the idiots that day finally heaves a sigh of relief, so I give him the receipts for all the taxis I had to take that day to facilitate this mad rush, and that was quite a happy moment, so that's the sucky part, right; the awesome part was I was feeling crappy, as you might have guessed from the RANTING, so I called Xiao Li to see if she was free, haven't seen her in ages, and she was, went to a great restaurant with her and her friend, seriously guys, the food was AWESOME, and Xiao Li is still gorgeous and a little bit mad and tons of fun to be around and it really did help make the day so much better, and I still have leftovers at home, as delicious as it was we still couldn't finish it, there done, back to the day at hand), I have a happy day.
Not one, but TWO awesome things just happened.
#1: Mum sent me a berimbau! It's supposed to arrive as early as 2-5 days! A freakin' berimbau! Awesomeness. Seriously, this is going to do me as far as birthday and Christmas presents go from my entire family for a year or two. That's how awesome this is.
#2: After a lot of really frustrating crap that was the reason for my week being crappy (even visa idioticness doesn't compare to this), and because I didn't, it seems, post pretty much anything related to this, so short story: Zhou Shan said she won't come back this year after all, but instead wait for me to finish my contract (one year, folks), I was very angry, and sad, about this, we've been talking about it all week, and it pisses me off because she thinks it will be a good test of our relationship, and finally, tonight she said she'll come and visit me, next week. Monday, in fact. So after all that frustration, finally, something to look forward to. It's not quite as good as I hoped - see, about two weeks ago she told me she'd given notice at her job and would be able to come here much sooner than she first promised, and when she went back on that and the original promise it, well, hurt, especially the "yeah, and I'm not going to live there with you either, it's fine, just wait a year" bit - but, it's progress. She'll be here, we can see how things go, we can work it out.
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
It's ![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/community.gif) isadg time again! Go over there and start writing stories, dammit!
Sunday, November 29, 2009
It's in the spaces in between that I feel you: the words you don't quite say, the things you don't quite do. I hear the echo of your heart in the beating of my own, so that even when we cannot find the right words to say, I know your heart. I can see your walls, keeping you safe from me, and I can hear them crumble even when I can't see your tears. I can trace your outline, and see the space around you, and know you; but when you are not there, the emptiness creeps out and fills the spaces that are not you.
I can't keep all my promises. But I can try.
Saturday, November 28, 2009
I hate not having any words. No words. No thoughts. Just fhhsdfowemcvxmgi3.
Friday, November 27, 2009
A coup d'etat is on the horizon at work. I was just asked if I would sign a petition - written by one of the Chinese teachers, and signed by, as far as I can tell, everyone else - that will get sent to the big boss, saying we want a new manager. The tricky part, that no-one has really thought about, is who will replace her, since no-one actually wants the job.
I've had two Thanksgiving Day text messages from well-meaning Chinese girls who forget that we don't do Thanksgiving in New Zealand. It was a nice sentiment, though, especially since one was from my girlfriend, and the other was a really lovely message.
I turned on my belly dance by showing her what I could do with my stomach. Awesome, Y/Y?
Thursday, November 19, 2009
I think it's safe to say I won't be able to finish NaNo this year. I might hit a fit of optimism in a couple of days and pull off a miracle finish, but it doesn't look likely. I'm looking forward to isadg starting up again in December, though.
Also, screw the poetry. Fun while it lasted, but I had to sacrifice depth of content for poetic convention, and it took ages to post anything, too.
Also also: happiness ensues! Reasons why after the fact. Not counting my chickens before they're hatched, and sworn to secrecy besides. None of the people reading this would count, but it's the principle of the thing. You'll know soon enough.
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Stats for this installment of The Eternal Spring:
Days procrastinated: about a week's worth
Words behind: about 10,000
People concerned by this: 0, including me
Characters killed to date: 0, and this concerns me
Plot elements introduced: most of them, even the zombies and giant robots, I'm going to run out of story!
Characters spontaneously turned into robots due to comments left on previous NaNo post: 1
Times I've tried to post this stupid bloody thing at this smoky net bar from behind the eternally retarded Great Firewall of China: 8, and counting
EDIT: A very belated sorry, guys. Turns out it was being posted after all. Duplicates removed. With a spade.
( Part 2 )
Friday, November 6, 2009
No poetry, although it's not NaNo-related (sorry NaNo! I'll write soon, promise!), and really, probably deserves poetry.
But it deserves good poetry, and that's another matter entirely.
Zhou Shan's coming back. For good. For keeps. This isn't a spur-of-the-moment hey-I'll-just-change-cities kind of decision - this is a she's-talked-to-her-mother-about-me-and-now-her-mum-wants-to-meet-me kind of decision. The words "three score years and ten" were mentioned. I'm not planning on dying that early, so with luck, I'll be able to give her more.
Engagement party sometime late December, for everyone coming to China around then. Hurry up already.
Actually, now that I think about it, the real engagement party should be in March, when my mum will be here. I'll just have a piss-up in the meantime.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
The Eternal Spring, Still.
Stats:
Restarts: 1, completely justified, since I only had a thousand or so words and I wasn't happy with it and it wasn't taking the story in the right direction and, this is the important one, and it was hard to write because of it - but this new rewrite is flowing off my fingers like wine off a prostitute's navel.
Uses of the word "arse": 6
Characters who wrote themselves into the story with my previous knowledge of such a character existing, and who exist only as dialogue and now need backstory, appearance, gender, and other such moderately important things: 1, but I like him. Or her. Or it. (Also not in this excerpt, wait until tomorrow.)
Zombies: 1 (see how much of an improvement the new start is?)
Words: 1913 (Horribly behind. Not a problem. Not sleeping tonight.)
Phone numbers of drop-dead gorgeous girls acquired in non-NaNo-life through somewhat subversive means: 1, and I still don't know what to say to her.
( Part 1 )
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Talked to Zhou Shan online just before,
And the thing that stays with me is this:
Although we both still miss each other, she said:
"Every day is unfair for us."
I told her it's true, and what's more,
There are other girls I've been thinking about.
It's no less true that I still miss her, but -
She's not here, nor coming soon, and it's too long to go without.
Ariel had been doing her pimpy duties, and told a girl I'm available -
The girl said sure, why not, and was there -
And she was even more beautiful than I remembered (which was quite a lot to begin with, seriously guys, she's hot);
Not that it mattered, because I said nothing, and so got nowhere.
But last night -
Last night baby was there -
(I've liked her since I met her)
It's been a while since I saw her last,
And each time we meet we grow nearer.
Baby's pretty, but she smokes,
And I wouldn't have thought her my type,
But I'm thinking I might be wrong,
Since I got her number last night.
The question for the masses, then,
Is not what I should do
Because I'm a contrary bastard
Who's not likely to listen to you;
Instead, tell me what YOU would do:
Wait for Zhou Shan,
Call Baby,
Or call in sick tomorrow so I can try again with this pretty girl I don't know a lot about yet, other than that she's interested, and hopefully actually say something to her this time (calling in sick necessary because Mondays are the only day of the week I don't have work at the same time she goes to the yoga class and I swear I didn't even stalk her to find out what classes she goes to and when (because other people stalked her for me (and by that I mean that Ariel asked her and she told her (and by the way, I'm very sorry for this second-to-last rather long line neither rhyming nor scanning)))),
Or none, or all of the above.
Sunday, November 1, 2009
The Eternal Spring
day 1 stats:
words: 1058
Opening lines I like: 1
Opening scenes I don't like: 1
Number of characters introduced: 6
Number of moments shamelessly thieved from my own life: 1
Number of ridiculous names: 6
Excerpt later, when the day is actually over. Probably tomorrow, since I won't have time tonight. In the meantime, have a banner:
Thursday, October 29, 2009
NaNo is awesome
I thought it would be a struggle
I had no plot
No characters
No setting
No hope
But then, I hit a random setting
And some characters suggested themselves
And now
They're all interacting
And making references between each other
And creating new characters
They're like rabbits
But they breed faster
Like maggots
But cuter
And they don't smell
So to summarise
NaNo is awesome.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
On my skateboard, a kid wanted to play,
So I got up to see if it was OK.
The little tosser thought that a perfect cue,
To play with my pen, and drop it, too.
Now the nib is bent,
And I'm really fucking pissed off because that pen cost around $200.
As usual, for the month of NaNo, I'll suspend the idiotic rules I normally set myself for this journal - no song lyrics for titles, entries with actual writing will be friends-locked (despite the chances of me bothering to attempt publishing are almost close to nil), and no poetry. I'm not, thankfully, planning on writing an epic poem for NaNo. If you do though, that is indeed epic, and I want to read it.
(The above was a single line of uniambic pentacontatriameter, for the curious.)
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Fire in my blood and gold in my hand,
I'm making a start,
Tomorrow I'll go and begin again,
Seven days to capture a heart.
I'll sacrifice the life I once had,
Give up the places I knew,
Give myself more than ever before:
But she must do the same, too.
Do you believe in miracles,
In the power they impart?
I'm hoping for a miracle to happen,
Seven days to capture a heart.
Tuesday, September 29, 2009
I dreamed when I was young,
But then, we all have dreams.
I'll put dreams where they belong,
To find out what eternal means.
I'll give her my heart, my lungs,
Intestines, my little toe,
If there is but one way for us to live together,
Wei ai zhi zhuo1.
1Don't give up on love.
First rule of acquisitions:
Try the unknown first.
That way, if it's horrible,
You have something to wash it down with.
Monday, September 28, 2009
Here, I am different, and I notice this a lot,
Here, I like it, and so I stay, but -
When my friends are talking about me, and strangers,
When they say I'm different from even the other foreigners -
Because I didn't sleep with Linda, way back when,
Because I never jumped into bed with my flatmate; then,
I don't want to be different,
I don't want to sleep alone.
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